I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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