so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
