That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize