I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
