i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this just has baby written all over it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
