you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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