How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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