the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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