Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
