ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
