Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize