Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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