Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize