Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
nutella sex= disaster
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize