i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
