i already hear my dad disowning me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Text me some of your sweat
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