If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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