We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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