I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
