He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
