I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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