She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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