i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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