you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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