So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
