p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
