Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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