So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
