i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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