I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
