last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
