I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
