let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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