It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
