if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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