I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
