i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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