You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
