fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
