I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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