he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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