all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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