Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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