the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
