This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
