we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
