47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
