ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
