is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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