I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
