I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
