Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
