Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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