Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
