I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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