remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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