sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
