All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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