He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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